TERMINAL FROM HELL
Victorino P Mapa
The Filipino Channel’s TV Patrol last week announced that an international travel magazine voted Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International airport as the World’s worst air terminal. Something I’ve been saying all along a few issues back is now official. It’s not surprising – the acronym, NAIA sounds like what a pilot would shriek when his life flashes before his eyes, “we’re going down ! We’re going to crash ! We-re going to die ! - NAAEEYAAA ! “
The esteemed departed Ninoy himself once opined that you can always quick-guess how a country and/or its economy is doing by observing its airport and hookers. That is, if the airport is ugly but the hookers are pretty welcome to the Third world. Ninoy was jesting of course – but the designation fits Manila. It’s a label that Pinoys wouldn’t care to admit but it’s true.. The airport from hell that is being referred to is our Terminal 1 where all foreign carriers land or 90% of all arrivals. It was built in the seventies.and has been in a time-warp - little or no improvements and additions were ever made. There is an unused Terminal 2 finished twelve years ago It just sits there like a bride who’s been left waiting at the altar. So much graft, controversies, suits and counter-suits are so attached to it that it is expected to open perhaps in the 25th century. .
If you came via Philippine Airlines you would be going through Terminal 3. It is small by world standards. You can transplant the entire facility at Hongkong’s humungous Lantau terminal and it would easily fit into its lost-and-found room. Nevertheless it’s fairly new, tolerably air conditioned and crowd control is sane enough to induce patience while waiting for your luggage..Therein lies the anomaly. Terminal 3 is for the exclusive use of our national flag carrier. It’s like having a home where the family enters through the front door and asks its guests to come in through the kitchen. Very sad and doesn’t speak well of our world-famous Filipino hospitality.
The pre-view from the air prior to landing certainly bids welcome. The plane
circle’s around Luzon’s southern periphery and the sight alternates from the grandeur of Ta-al Lake and volcano to the lush, green Banahaw range, its slopes skirted with graceful coconut palms. There’s a quick-glimpse of Manila Bay before the wheels scrunch, you’re taxiing to the tarmac and the claustrophobic’s nightmare begins. More than half are Balikbayans driven to a frenzy at being home again that discipline and order is the first one out. What follows is a fair imitation of a cattle stampede .. If you escaped being trampled the momentum takes you one of three luggage carousels and you find yourself elbow-to-elbow with two or three other jumbo passengers who arrived at the same time. Incidentally the condition of the carousels is like the earthquake that recently hit Turkey. As all Balikbayans know there’s no such thing as a Filipino coming back with just two pieces of luggage Visualize yourself if you will as one in a cast of thousands who shove, jostle and gouge your way to the carousel where boulders of balikbayan boxes cascade down in an avalanche, each box with enough tonnage to give sumo wrestlers acute hernia. It’s worse than the storming of the Bastille.
Getting your stuff and fleeing the mob is only a teaser. Wait till you’re out of customs. Meeting arrivals is a serious Filipino pastime. If the passenger is Mr Jose Nobody he will be met by at least two carloads of relatives/well wishers; the arrivee’ who just finished four years at UCLA rates at least five cars and two jeepneys; Congressmen and up rate at least two busloads. Arrive with Manny Pacquiao and the scene is redolent of Moses’ exodus out of Egypt.
Getting out of NAIA is the good news. Going back in to leave is the bad news. No freeways lead to the airport. All streets and alleys are grid-locked. A plane that I once took for Hongkong had to sit for nearly two hours for 55 more passengers who got caught in traffic – and this was an 8AM flight! Outside the terminal discipline and crowd control have taken a vacation.. You leap into a jumble of vehicles, well-wishers, passengers, baggage handlers, peddlers and pickpockets, all clashing amid a torrent of horns, shouts, imprecations and whistles from hapless security guards trying to restore some sanity and order. Inside is more of the same as literally thousands try to get through two security alarms. Occasionally one is out of order. The time from last-of-the line to check in counter is close to two hours. Add one more hour in lining up at Immigration and you’re finally in the holding area with your boarding pass. And crossing your legs because there’s no water has stopped running in the rest room.
NAIA’s state of disrepair and obsolescence is indeed sad. One can travel all over Asia and not find a land with more spectacular scenery, more to do and see, nor a happier, livelier and lovelier people than in the Philippines. But until our airport is brought up to world-standards the Philippines shall always be for tourists, - the undiscovered country.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Random Trivia
TOTALLY TRIVIA :
Victorino P. Mapa
It was 1837. They were married to two sisters. William was making candles and James made soap. Both depended on animal fat for the creation of their products. Rather than see his sons-in-law compete for the raw products Alexander Norris suggested they go into business together. From this humble beginnings they turned animal fat into a multi-billion world-wide conglomerate that produces over 250 brand name products. You make them wealthier each time you brush your teeth, take a shower or change your baby’s diapers. William and James last names? Procter and Gamble. One of their world-wide outlets was the Philippine Manufacturing Company they opened in the 50s.
We’re celebrating Thanksgiving a week early, thanks or no thanks to President Delano Roosevelt. During the greatest depression of our times in 1939 (our current depression is the fourth ) President Roosevelt decreed that Thanksgiving Day be celebrated a week earlier than usual in order to extend the Christmas shopping season.It helped spur the economy. While we’re on the subject John Wayne calls everyone a pilgrim but the originals who landed on on Plymouth Rock never called themselves that. Only William Bradford did when he wrote a journal of his fellow travelers in circa 1620-1647 and coined the word “Pilgrim” for the settlers
.Do you know why the Pilgrims chose to land on Plymouth Rock? Because they ran out of beer! In those days beer was considered an essential and healthy part of one’s diet. Water, especially during a voyage was not so because it easily became contaminated. The Mayflower set out from England loaded with beer barrels. Its destination was Virginia but a storm blew them off course. Rather than go south they landed on Plymouth Rock because a pilgrim recorded, “we could not take time for further search or consideration. Our victuals being much spent, especially our beere.”
So set em up Joe, to America’s forefathers! Hic !
Coffee at one time was considered a drug, not a drink.The early American settlers took it to “ :ward off the lassitude of the body “ – is how their apothecaries described it. When it got introduced to Europe in the 16th century the Vatican decided that it was the devil’s brew because it came from Muslim country. Until Pope Clement VIII took a sip and gave it his blessings. “This Satan’s drink is so delicious it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it. We shall fool Satan by baptizing it,” he said.
There’s a brew so expensive you’ve probably never heard of it.But the rich and famous do. Sells for as much as $600 a pound. A single cup of this nectar will run you $30 a cup at a posh dining room in world class hotels. The British Royal family reportedly sips it every morning. It’s called Kopi Luwak. Kopi is Indonesian for coffee. Its’ not picked by human hands but is plucked by sharp claws and fangs and digested by a civet. In the animal’s stomach enzymes in its gastric juices massage the beans, smoothing the harsh edges that make coffee bitter and produce the jitters for addicts. Kopi Luwak is alleged to be so smooth it just emits bliss and pleasant dreams. What’s the catch ? The civet is about the size of your household cat and lives in the jungle. In short your cat growing wild, eating coffee beans, ejecting them, the turd picked up, dried, ground and sipped. So what is Kopi Luwak? Yes brudda, cat shit! What’s probably next is chocolate flavored horse shit EEWWW!
Victorino P. Mapa
It was 1837. They were married to two sisters. William was making candles and James made soap. Both depended on animal fat for the creation of their products. Rather than see his sons-in-law compete for the raw products Alexander Norris suggested they go into business together. From this humble beginnings they turned animal fat into a multi-billion world-wide conglomerate that produces over 250 brand name products. You make them wealthier each time you brush your teeth, take a shower or change your baby’s diapers. William and James last names? Procter and Gamble. One of their world-wide outlets was the Philippine Manufacturing Company they opened in the 50s.
We’re celebrating Thanksgiving a week early, thanks or no thanks to President Delano Roosevelt. During the greatest depression of our times in 1939 (our current depression is the fourth ) President Roosevelt decreed that Thanksgiving Day be celebrated a week earlier than usual in order to extend the Christmas shopping season.It helped spur the economy. While we’re on the subject John Wayne calls everyone a pilgrim but the originals who landed on on Plymouth Rock never called themselves that. Only William Bradford did when he wrote a journal of his fellow travelers in circa 1620-1647 and coined the word “Pilgrim” for the settlers
.Do you know why the Pilgrims chose to land on Plymouth Rock? Because they ran out of beer! In those days beer was considered an essential and healthy part of one’s diet. Water, especially during a voyage was not so because it easily became contaminated. The Mayflower set out from England loaded with beer barrels. Its destination was Virginia but a storm blew them off course. Rather than go south they landed on Plymouth Rock because a pilgrim recorded, “we could not take time for further search or consideration. Our victuals being much spent, especially our beere.”
So set em up Joe, to America’s forefathers! Hic !
Coffee at one time was considered a drug, not a drink.The early American settlers took it to “ :ward off the lassitude of the body “ – is how their apothecaries described it. When it got introduced to Europe in the 16th century the Vatican decided that it was the devil’s brew because it came from Muslim country. Until Pope Clement VIII took a sip and gave it his blessings. “This Satan’s drink is so delicious it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it. We shall fool Satan by baptizing it,” he said.
There’s a brew so expensive you’ve probably never heard of it.But the rich and famous do. Sells for as much as $600 a pound. A single cup of this nectar will run you $30 a cup at a posh dining room in world class hotels. The British Royal family reportedly sips it every morning. It’s called Kopi Luwak. Kopi is Indonesian for coffee. Its’ not picked by human hands but is plucked by sharp claws and fangs and digested by a civet. In the animal’s stomach enzymes in its gastric juices massage the beans, smoothing the harsh edges that make coffee bitter and produce the jitters for addicts. Kopi Luwak is alleged to be so smooth it just emits bliss and pleasant dreams. What’s the catch ? The civet is about the size of your household cat and lives in the jungle. In short your cat growing wild, eating coffee beans, ejecting them, the turd picked up, dried, ground and sipped. So what is Kopi Luwak? Yes brudda, cat shit! What’s probably next is chocolate flavored horse shit EEWWW!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Philippine History Trivia
PHILIPPINE HISTORY TRIVIA :
Victorino P. Mapa
History labels Ferdinand Magellan as ”The Great Circumnavigator” The title suggests that he was the first to circle the globe. He wasn.t. A Filipino did. Ten years before his epic trip Magellan was an officer in the Portuguese army based in Malacca. He went shopping and both himself a slave that he named Enrique, origin unknown, Ferdinand took him back to Portugal. Fast-forward: Magellan tries to sell the idea of going west to travel east, falls out of favor with the king of Portugal, goes to Spain and succeeds in selling the world cruise to the Spanish kings. Enrique sails with Magellan and when the expedition discovers the Philippines for the Western world Enrique is the first to splash down to embrace the natives like long-lost relatives and happily talks to them nonstop. He is home, thus becoming the first human to circumnavigate the world. Magellan did not finish his voyage. He got killed a few weeks later at the island of Mactan. By the way, neither he nor Columbus had to convince the kings that the world was round, not flat. Aristotle already did, two thousand years earlier. Washington Irving fictionalized the tale in 1828 when he wrote a a best selling book. A chapter describes Columbus trtying to convince scholars that the world was round, not flat. The world already knew it during their time.
The Spanish-American war was the shortest in American history. In the span of five months, from April 25 to August 12, 1898 she chased the Spanish out of Cuba and destroyed the Spanish fleet in Manila The loser got the better of the victor. . Spain sold the Philippines to the United States for the amount of 20 million US dollars in the Treaty of Paris when it was no longer hers to sell. At the time General Aguinaldo had already beaten the Spanish Army, Manila was surrounded by his troops and the Philippines was proclaiming a new government. It was like having a fire sale while the store was burning and having someone dumb enough to buy it. America forgot to ask the Filipinos whether it was alright to buy them. What resulted was two more years of war that American history insists on calling an “insurrection>” The United States lost more men in the Philippine-American conflict than they did in the Spanish-American war and the Vietnam war. combined. It was also the first time America tried to win the hearts and minds of a people through the point of a gun.Fortunately for the Philippines America had different ideas of colonization as practiced by the European powers. By creating the Commonwealth of the Philippines and tutoring the Filipinos to eventual self-rule America ushered the end of colonialism in Asia and elsewhere.
Our national hero Dr Jose Rizal could have died wearing the uniform of the Spanish army. From his exile in Dapitan, Mindanao he volunteered to serve as a surgeon in the Spanish army A revolt broke out in the Philippines. He was well on his way to Cuba when the friars stepped in.. They determined he should be tried and punished for his seditious acts in writing and exposing the venalities of the friars and falsely implicated him to the uprising. .Rizal was placed under arrest in Barcelona , sent back to the Philippines and was tried and executed at Bagumbayan Field. It was the red flag that inflamed the entire nation. The rest is history.
History books write stirring tales of Filipino-American troops gallant last stand at Bataan during World War II and very rightly so.it. What few people know is that Bataan’s fate was sealed long before even the clouds of war appeared. American planners had already concluded that the Philippines could not be defended in case of a war against Japan. They estimated that the Japanese could overwhelm its defenses long before the United States fleet could reach the scene. In the 1920s American strategists therefore, promulgated War Plan Orange 3 which called for the US armed forces to retreat to Bataan in case of hostilities and to hold out for as long as they can and to expect no help whatsoever. General Douglas MacArthur was Chief of Staff of the US Army in the 30s. It is certain he was well-aware of the Orange Plan.This was not disclosed to the troops even after World War II. Incidentally, only a fourth of the 80,000 defenders of Bataan were American troops. The rest were Filipinos.Casualties were the same ratio. For every American who died four Filipinos did too.
Victorino P. Mapa
History labels Ferdinand Magellan as ”The Great Circumnavigator” The title suggests that he was the first to circle the globe. He wasn.t. A Filipino did. Ten years before his epic trip Magellan was an officer in the Portuguese army based in Malacca. He went shopping and both himself a slave that he named Enrique, origin unknown, Ferdinand took him back to Portugal. Fast-forward: Magellan tries to sell the idea of going west to travel east, falls out of favor with the king of Portugal, goes to Spain and succeeds in selling the world cruise to the Spanish kings. Enrique sails with Magellan and when the expedition discovers the Philippines for the Western world Enrique is the first to splash down to embrace the natives like long-lost relatives and happily talks to them nonstop. He is home, thus becoming the first human to circumnavigate the world. Magellan did not finish his voyage. He got killed a few weeks later at the island of Mactan. By the way, neither he nor Columbus had to convince the kings that the world was round, not flat. Aristotle already did, two thousand years earlier. Washington Irving fictionalized the tale in 1828 when he wrote a a best selling book. A chapter describes Columbus trtying to convince scholars that the world was round, not flat. The world already knew it during their time.
The Spanish-American war was the shortest in American history. In the span of five months, from April 25 to August 12, 1898 she chased the Spanish out of Cuba and destroyed the Spanish fleet in Manila The loser got the better of the victor. . Spain sold the Philippines to the United States for the amount of 20 million US dollars in the Treaty of Paris when it was no longer hers to sell. At the time General Aguinaldo had already beaten the Spanish Army, Manila was surrounded by his troops and the Philippines was proclaiming a new government. It was like having a fire sale while the store was burning and having someone dumb enough to buy it. America forgot to ask the Filipinos whether it was alright to buy them. What resulted was two more years of war that American history insists on calling an “insurrection>” The United States lost more men in the Philippine-American conflict than they did in the Spanish-American war and the Vietnam war. combined. It was also the first time America tried to win the hearts and minds of a people through the point of a gun.Fortunately for the Philippines America had different ideas of colonization as practiced by the European powers. By creating the Commonwealth of the Philippines and tutoring the Filipinos to eventual self-rule America ushered the end of colonialism in Asia and elsewhere.
Our national hero Dr Jose Rizal could have died wearing the uniform of the Spanish army. From his exile in Dapitan, Mindanao he volunteered to serve as a surgeon in the Spanish army A revolt broke out in the Philippines. He was well on his way to Cuba when the friars stepped in.. They determined he should be tried and punished for his seditious acts in writing and exposing the venalities of the friars and falsely implicated him to the uprising. .Rizal was placed under arrest in Barcelona , sent back to the Philippines and was tried and executed at Bagumbayan Field. It was the red flag that inflamed the entire nation. The rest is history.
History books write stirring tales of Filipino-American troops gallant last stand at Bataan during World War II and very rightly so.it. What few people know is that Bataan’s fate was sealed long before even the clouds of war appeared. American planners had already concluded that the Philippines could not be defended in case of a war against Japan. They estimated that the Japanese could overwhelm its defenses long before the United States fleet could reach the scene. In the 1920s American strategists therefore, promulgated War Plan Orange 3 which called for the US armed forces to retreat to Bataan in case of hostilities and to hold out for as long as they can and to expect no help whatsoever. General Douglas MacArthur was Chief of Staff of the US Army in the 30s. It is certain he was well-aware of the Orange Plan.This was not disclosed to the troops even after World War II. Incidentally, only a fourth of the 80,000 defenders of Bataan were American troops. The rest were Filipinos.Casualties were the same ratio. For every American who died four Filipinos did too.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Baguio Daze
All that the early American pioneers wanted of Baguio was to take in its cool mountain air and to chase golf balls without keeling over from heat prostrataion. Then they discovered something else – Gold!. To this day Baguio continues to have one of the richest gold deposits in the world. It’s not all that’s being dug. Fortune seekers go on treks to the mountain wilds in search of Yamashita’s treasure. If you’re not in the know this is allegedly the booty looted by the Japanese during their three years of empire that General Yamashita brought along and buried before surrendering during double-U-eye-eye. Rumors persist that Marcos found some of it and kept the Golden Buddha.You can buy maps to the treasure from the same people who sell the Brooklyn Bridge.
Americans were not the first to discover gold but the Spaniards. The early conquistadors came into first contact with its native people when the Igorots came down from the hills to trade. They saw the Igorots sporting crude bright stones for trinkets. Without a by-your-leave they rushed to the hills to get their share. The Spaniards thought they could treat the Igorots the same way they treated the natives of the lowlands. They forgot one small detail: The Igorots were headhunters.Not wanting to lose theirs for the next three hundred years the Spanish commandants in charge of the territory “governed the Igorots peacefully” from their outpost in Agoo, La Union- about five mountains and 100 kilometers away. . The Igorots and the Muslims of Mindanao were the only people that the Spaniards left alone throughout their 400 years rule.
Baguio isn’t just fresh air and golf. The area is the “salad capital” of the Philippines. Almost all the veggies and flowers sold in Manila originate here. Then too are the local attractions of Burnham Park where you can boat pedal on its lake, Mansion House where the President stays when the Manila weather gets unbearably hot. And then some : A drive around its residential area likewise displaying the ostentatious homes of Manila’s elite; Minesview Park is where you can see forever while the kiddies go horseback astride sonambulating ponies; the government edifices built by the same Americanos who created its golf links and Camp John Hay, once the favorite R & R place for American officers during Commonwealth days. Session Road is the city’s main stem, a four block avenue lined with souvenir shops, cafes and restaurants where you can sip your San Mig and watch fellow tourists amble by on their way to the City market. It’s the only place where you can still see Igorots in their “native” attire in the same way you find Spider Man, Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman in front of Grauman’s Chinese theater inHollywood. Like them the “authentic” Igorots charge for a photo shoot. Incidentally, if you want to be welcomed back to your Manila home don’t forget to bring back Baguio Longanizas
Time was when THE only place to stay was the 200 room government run Pines Hotel plus a few other family run hotels. The Pines burned down during the Marcos years and has not been replaced. What has replaced it are several dozen four and five star hotels which to this old-timer are urban blights. All are shoulder-to-shoulder beside Session Road and lined along Burnham Park. The other disfigurement to the heart of the city is its overpopulation. In the old days I could swagger down session street like I owned it without bumping anyone. No longer. Downtown Baguio foot and vehicle traffic now is ala Manila and just as insane. .
There are still quiet retreats and noise free parks where you can be alone to contemplate the problems of the world - the walk around the cathedral and the paseos outside of Session Road. One of such escapes is Mario’s, situated on a quiet avenue away from downtown. Mario’s is an oasis of fine Spanish dining and old-world service. Try its Caesar’s salad. You will agree that it is the best in the world.
Americans were not the first to discover gold but the Spaniards. The early conquistadors came into first contact with its native people when the Igorots came down from the hills to trade. They saw the Igorots sporting crude bright stones for trinkets. Without a by-your-leave they rushed to the hills to get their share. The Spaniards thought they could treat the Igorots the same way they treated the natives of the lowlands. They forgot one small detail: The Igorots were headhunters.Not wanting to lose theirs for the next three hundred years the Spanish commandants in charge of the territory “governed the Igorots peacefully” from their outpost in Agoo, La Union- about five mountains and 100 kilometers away. . The Igorots and the Muslims of Mindanao were the only people that the Spaniards left alone throughout their 400 years rule.
Baguio isn’t just fresh air and golf. The area is the “salad capital” of the Philippines. Almost all the veggies and flowers sold in Manila originate here. Then too are the local attractions of Burnham Park where you can boat pedal on its lake, Mansion House where the President stays when the Manila weather gets unbearably hot. And then some : A drive around its residential area likewise displaying the ostentatious homes of Manila’s elite; Minesview Park is where you can see forever while the kiddies go horseback astride sonambulating ponies; the government edifices built by the same Americanos who created its golf links and Camp John Hay, once the favorite R & R place for American officers during Commonwealth days. Session Road is the city’s main stem, a four block avenue lined with souvenir shops, cafes and restaurants where you can sip your San Mig and watch fellow tourists amble by on their way to the City market. It’s the only place where you can still see Igorots in their “native” attire in the same way you find Spider Man, Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman in front of Grauman’s Chinese theater inHollywood. Like them the “authentic” Igorots charge for a photo shoot. Incidentally, if you want to be welcomed back to your Manila home don’t forget to bring back Baguio Longanizas
Time was when THE only place to stay was the 200 room government run Pines Hotel plus a few other family run hotels. The Pines burned down during the Marcos years and has not been replaced. What has replaced it are several dozen four and five star hotels which to this old-timer are urban blights. All are shoulder-to-shoulder beside Session Road and lined along Burnham Park. The other disfigurement to the heart of the city is its overpopulation. In the old days I could swagger down session street like I owned it without bumping anyone. No longer. Downtown Baguio foot and vehicle traffic now is ala Manila and just as insane. .
There are still quiet retreats and noise free parks where you can be alone to contemplate the problems of the world - the walk around the cathedral and the paseos outside of Session Road. One of such escapes is Mario’s, situated on a quiet avenue away from downtown. Mario’s is an oasis of fine Spanish dining and old-world service. Try its Caesar’s salad. You will agree that it is the best in the world.
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